Friday, October 31, 2003
Had my 1st paper today for the SA... PIPC.. hMm.. ok laHz, cannot consider very easy tho... the MCQ was trickly and the section C is quite difficult... hmm.. anywae its over, no use thinking abt it... i dun tink i have the mood to study for the other subjects.. haiz...
tml i'll be having my Piano theory exam.. siGh... i studied abit only lor... At parkmall tml, wAhz.. have to wake up qiote early as it starts at 10am... hMm.. overall can say its an ok dAy lahz.. hehE~ he's sweet tO me... =p he gave me a box of ai xin mentos for the exam =) bTw, the exam room is very very colD!~ plz remember to bring a windbreaker along on monday..~ =)
Tuesday, October 28, 2003
hEhe.. went to sch at 9am to studY todAy.. aBit sick huh? got the chance to slp longer but dun wana slp.. haha~ buT its woRth it! the sch's library is SOOO conducive in the morning, when there are not many ppl!~ hehe~ somemorE is studying wif him~ the feeling is great! =) hAha.. study wif him oso quite fuN, but this is also the only tiMe where i can concentRate, at leasT for 4hrs... approaching 1pm, the library will be getting noisier.. hEhe.. finally finish my PIPC~! Had a quiTe memorable day bahz.. hE's veRy gd de.. hehe~ hEn hAo wan yE shI... =D aNd he's rEally sweet at times, rEally got the urge to saY "TAO YANZ!" but of cos didn saY.. hehe~~ =p i likE the wAy he sAy " zHi yAo ni kAi xIn jiU hAo.."... vEry heArtwarming.... =) kk... dun wana say anYmoRe...
gEtting exhuasted nOw... my eyEs cAnnot makE it le... dUno hOw comE feel so tired easilY... hehe~ ok i lazY to write anymoRe... aLL thE best for ur eXamz pAlz!~ =)
Sunday, October 26, 2003
Your Heart is Yellow
What Color is Your Heart? brought to you by Quizilla
Saturday, October 25, 2003
Ydae went to celebrate my grandad bdae at Paramount hotel... quite an ulu hotel.. =p aNywae had buffet.. its quite a feast huh.. hehe~ i love the gathering wif the rest of my cousins... hMm.. had quite a wonderful nite.. but too bad we went home quite early... soBz* aft i go home still hav to face a pile of nOtes.. haiz... exams sux...
Duno y feel so dizzy now.... getting dizzy spells quite often nowadays, oso duno y.. i dun used to be lidat... perhaps i'm stressed? i duno... i juz keep thinking tt i dun hav enough time to complete my revision.. so far i've only started PIPC.. going quite smoothly tho... stilll got 3 more topics to go.. sigH..~
kkz.. gtg muG le... lidat goes on i'll faint...
Thursday, October 23, 2003
Went to Wendy's hse to study today, with Shee wee and Janice too! hMm.. not really productive, perhaps i really cannot go to a fren's hse to study.. the best is study at nite in my home.. but today is quite fun.. hehe! wendy dear dear got rabbit! big big de.. very fun to play wif, but it bit me.. =( hehe~ later studying my frenz all go crazy!~ wAhz... shout so loudly, laugh til so er xin, sing until so loud... haha~ funny bunch of ppl!!~ i actually wanted to go home at 6.30pm, but they aLL locked me up!!!!!! dun let me go home.. in the end i watch finished Holland V den go home.. reached home at ard 10pm..-_-!~
hehe~ he's very gd to me oso... can feel his care... feel very fortunate.. =) hMm.. anywae going to thon at colleen's house later... hehe~ felt abit guilty cos my exams start next week.. but anywae its been so long since we gathered.. quite tired noW... go back to irc le... =)
hMm.. can say today is quite a happy day bahz.. hehe! Went to play bowling wif shee wee, benjamin, wendy and janice.. hehe! i break my record again.. this time scored 73 and 71..! =D =D =D very very happy! hehe... today duno y on form.. mayb misunderstanding cleared up le.. =p
aft bowling go meet the rest of our classmates... lixin they all lor.. heE~ only went ard see see at Tampines Mall , aft tt they went to play pool. I didn go cos i wan to go home watch Holland V... hMm.. today is the "last" day of sch le bAhz... only nex monday got revision lec, den nex fri is my exams le!!!!! ARGH~! stressed.........
Very happy tt me and him are ok now.. hEe.. juz now chatted wif him, find out tt he was actually really sad ydae.. i can see how much i'm worth in his heart.. =pPp but really.. things he said really touched me..... and he slept so early ydae cos he's too sad to stay awake.... hMm.. hope nth like this will happen again bAhz.. =) will miss him though... cannot see him le..haiz..
Tuesday, October 21, 2003
Apart from this morning, the whole day was actually quite sad... i failed my OC test.. altho i've expected it, but i still will feel sad, tt's a natural reaction, i can't help it.. i did really study for the test, really! but i juz somehow couldn't remember the reactions... haiz... fail drastically... anywae i'm not really bothered abt it aft tt...its over... wat can i do...? juz try harder for Sem exam lor....
Meet him aft sch to go home today...haiz... now the both of us sort of unhappy.. he said tt i've changed, i dun used to be like this, and now i'm showing my true colours.. i heard already duno how sad......... very very sad... duno how to describe. Further details on y he said tt, i shall not elaborate... anywae he told me he only said that becos he dun wan me to ignore him, and he actually dun mean it de, only joking.. but i can't help feeling tt he actually felt tt way in his heart... i "ignore" him is play play de lor, he tot i really got nth better to do den ignore mehz... haiz...... duno how come, wanted to cry, but forced myself not to cry in front of him.....
he keep apologizing, but tt's not his fault... mayb wat he said was right, i really changed?? -_-! haiz... duno... feel very sad now.. he oso feel very guilty, ask me to slap him... -_-....but slap le so wat, cannot change the fact on wat he's thinking rite, somemore i'm sad, not angry... and its not his fault, y muz i slap him.... duno lahz, dun feel like thinking abt it anymore....
YIN WEI ZAI HU, CAI HUI ZAI YI....
Monday, October 20, 2003
today really hana whole day le!!~ hehe.. today is a very happy day...~ hMm.. this morning actually pon PIPC lecture.. hehe.. he pon wif me.. We actually decided to go library to past the 2 hrs, but we went to Bedok resevoir instead. hehe~ there not much ppl, and its very quiet and peaceful... quite alot of things happened, shan't elaborate.. ;)hehe.. very rOmantic oso.. =p hMm.. the feeling is sOOoo nice!!~ i didn want it to end so early, but 11am got tt Organic CheM lec, and he want to go.. before we actually went in to the LT, he gave me a small bottle of Saga seeds (or Love seeds, i prefer to call it.. =p) hehe.. really very very happy.. he go pick himself de, and the bottle was actually stolen from the BMic lab de.. =) really happy, feel very fortunate too... hope i know how to treasure him.. (",)
Sunday, October 19, 2003
feel so sianz now... actually is feeling very no mood, abit angry, abit sad.. abit bothered.... its not a happy feeling lahz. Quite pissed off wif my cousin, keep asking me to play Gunbound.. its not as if i dun wana play, i CANNOT play.. got ERROR! he keep saying as if i wan to tua him lidat... haiz.. if u talk face to face wif him, he's very nice.. but his sms tone.... so vulgar! 15yrs old xiao di di lidat tok to me, see le oso angry... haiz... oso quite pissed off wif another fren, duno hu de zhui him lidat... dun wan tok dun tok loR..... forget it....... so many things bothering me le, and its still adding and adding.. i'm really gonna die from it.
Still haven sort out my thinking.. feel like avoiding him totally... duno how to face him le.... haiz..... forget it forget it....... dun wish to tink anymore...
Saturday, October 18, 2003
The more i think, the more confused i get.. hAiz. i duno y suddenly i feel so tired, tired of having this thing.. thE abnormality is too overwhelming, i can't stop it.. shan't elaborate futher... its too private.. haiz....
studied whole day, but only covered 2 sub-topics (5.1 and 5.2) of BMic.. feel so useless.. my concentration is on and off, and i keep thinking abt the same thing again and again.. somehow it is affecting me alot...
hope the rest of the day i can calm down and sort things out, or else i really going bonkers...
Friday, October 17, 2003
hMm.. the feeling of old time came back again... aft so long... haiz... i dun like this feeling.. whenever i'm very very close to a guy already, i somehow wan to stay away from him.. i duno why i feel this way.. am i really abnormal? hMm.. meet him aft my piano today, he oso got pei me walk home.. duno lehz, still can tok normally wif him all tt, but somehow the stupid feeling keep bugging me.. haiz.. i duno wat to do le, dun wish to lose him...
anywae today had been a great day.. CSAS "presentation" went on quite smoothly, shee wee and lixin are so tactful.. i duno how to talk de, haiz.. duno how to survive in the future.... our class played badminton today, but i didn really play cos the courts are insufficient due to rainy day... dun feel like playing pair, cos i very lousy... aft CSAS got play bowling, but due to shortage of time, i only manage to throw 3 times.. hehe... cos rushing to my piano test le! ARGH... the test sux.. =p called shee wee to ask for ans, =p hehe.. MUACKZ QING AI DE! i oso sms-ed her when my teacher is in front of me, i didn care abt her de.. hehe......
hMm... hope everything turns out fine bahz... been happy wif life recently, hope this can remain.. =) wo xi wang wo ke yi hen xi huan ta........
Thursday, October 16, 2003
hehe~ today is quite a happy day bahz.. muz be contented that when there's no sad things happen, it muz be a happy day.. =) finally come out sth for our CSAS presentation, hehe... not too bad lahz... did topic on Viagra.. lol.. the few of us keep laughing lahz.. but i cannot help it mahz.. hehe..~
today my frenz are really so CUUUUTTTEEE!~ haha... janice, wendy and shee wee, u all really hen hao wan~ haha.. today i tink we dun hav image le lahz... all gone down to the drain, like mad ppl lidat.. haha... all crazy le... =) love all of ya~
hehe.. today come to sch together wif him, the feeling is so gd... (",) went to the underpass at the auditorium there, stay for quite a while before we go up.. cos there very peaceful and romantic.. =pPp... hehe.. he even say i ke ai, hehe.. so happy!
hMm.. hope everyday can be that happy baHz.. but still missed sec sch days lahz.. hehe... hMm.. hope everything goes on smoothly for all of ya!~ hugz!~ =)
Wednesday, October 15, 2003
feel like blogging suddenly, duno why.. feel very very happy.. hehe... partly is becos of him, but mostly is abt frEnz.. really happy and surprise to see colleen write sth, tot u lost the url le.. =p hehe..~ qing ai de.. u too.. thx for everything... i muz be strong, cannot owaz so easily get affected... =) love u all... i noe we will stay in contact de.. =) colleen, owaz wana find u go eat together, juz dun dare.. duno y.. haha.. i still tot u very very moody, cos u owaz see me like very unhappy lidat... mayb tt few times u are tired bahz... didn forget u... hope to hav lunch wif u again =) hehe.. congrats on ur test!~ continue to work hard k, u can do it de... shee wee oso, let's not give up.. we may fail another test or two, but we muz jia you, nth can beat us down as long as we dun give up... (",) muz work hard for Sem exam... if u wana go sch study during study break, i can pei u de.. distance is not a problem for me.. hehe..~
very very happy.... hMm.. cannot say is happy, feel very "loved" bahz.. hehe.. tao yanz! so many dears, qing ai des and ai renz... =p ok lahz.. love all of ya... hMm............ wo ye xi huan ta.. =D
Tuesday, October 14, 2003
i duno how to describe my feeling now... in a state of confusion.. i feel very stressed, partly becos of studies bahz.. somehow i've been thinking that people around me will slowly leave me.. haiz... suddenly tot of the future, where all of us will be separated, into different courses etc... i dun wish that wld happen, but it has to happen anywae... oso duno wat makes me think of all that suddenly... i juz hope everything can remain like this, but i noe its impossible............
Whole day i've been thinking abt him too... i feEl really, duno how to describe that type of feeling.. today samantha gimme that type of look, i dun wish to make enemies out of no reason.. if she likes him, let her lor... haiz.. i duno ... feel like telling him not to meet me anymore, juz go back to the past, no need to meet to go to sch together, and dun always see each other... i duno y i feel this way.... i feel inferior towards her as well, ppl so sweet, so thin... quite adorable oso.. haiz............... i juz duno... i have no right to prevent anything to happen, cos he's nth to me, and i'm nth to him.. but i juz dun feel good... think becos she saw us together this morning...
very very sick and tired of life... feel like vanishing altogether.... dun wish to think anymore..
Sunday, October 12, 2003
hMm.. quite a nice weather now.. hehe.. feel so breezy and cooling.. duno whether it is going to rain not, but dun think so.. cos its not very humid.. hMm.. hope it can rain before i go to slp, so can slp til shuang shuang.. =) hehe.. today is quite a normal day lahz.. went out wif xueping to compasspoint, den to chinatown, den to junction 8.. hehe.. oso didn buy anything much lahz.. juz to go out walk walk.. hMm.. xP, glad that everything is ok and fine for the boTh of u, finally can be happy le rite? =) fEel happy for u too, after sad for days.... so muz treasure every happy moment wor.. =p
hMm.. for me, miss him quite a lot lorz.. waited for his sms oso wait so long, even if i receive a forward msg i oso will happy mahz.. but he didn msg me lehz.. until evening den msg... haiz... nvm lahz.. at least he still very cute.. hehe..
hMm.. but i owaz wonder wat's the difference between a love and a crush.. i duno whether is this another crush of mine in my life... but this is the first time i feel so comfortable wif someone, and long to see him everytime.. perhaps this is my first step of growing up bahz, growing out from my abnormal personality ( think only my sec sch close frenz noe abt this abnormality thingy.. =p ) hehe.. anywae juz take a step at a time lor, no need rush de.. hehe.. let nature take its course too.. (",)
Friday, October 10, 2003
Today was qutie a happy day, apart from flunking my BMic test... haiz... my BMic is hopeless, all tests fail, even practical oso borderline.. i duno how to study the subject le... haiz.... anywae its over, no use thinking abt it.. juz hope i can do well for my SA.. hMm.. today went to play badminton as usual, every friday.. had a gd game today.. hehe..~ more vigorous, altho play only for abt one hour only.. hehe... my frenz are really funny! janice, wendy and shee wee... haha... u guys are great man! Went bowling wif them oso, including Benjamin.. haha! had a great time too.. very fun... set a new record for myself.. =p 63 k... very gd for me le! =pPp.. hehe... wendy dear dear is very cute.. and all my frenz are very cute.. very lively.. u all are really a fun-loving batch of ppl.. hehE...
hMm.. but i'm not totally tt happy cos got somehow affected by my best fren prob... xP.. hope everything will turn out fine... dun wish to see u so sad everytime.. muz cheEr up.. =) remember that u always have friends around u who cares, life dun revolve around him only... u are never alone ok.. ? sMilE~ =)
Thursday, October 09, 2003
BMic prac test was hell... duno wat to describe... ok lahz.. actually not tt bad, only one person wrong, everybody wrong.. juz hope wun get too low lor... cos lab work percentage is quite high.. haiz....
Maths test was ok tough... i dun dare to say i'll score very well for maths, cos i owaz dun score as much as i tot i will... so dun wan tink abt it...
hMm... overall day is fine.... tml will be playing badminton with whole class.. haha.. booked all the courts, tml the whole place will be ours from 12-2pm... hehe.. hope tml can be very fun =) hope so.......
tml finally can meet him go sch le..! =D these two days becos sch starts at 8am, wun get to meet him.. miss him somehow... oso duno y... haha... today actually can miss him until very moody ahz... *slaps* myself.. k lahz.. dun wana say le...... gtg slp now, take care ppl... and Xue Ping, hope u can cheer up.. remember, my ears are owaz open for u, call me if u need someone to tok to k! =) muz be strong...
Wednesday, October 08, 2003
Hehe.. saw everyone's blog, all toking abt course briefing.. hehe.. den i shall tok abt it oso.. =p anywae i really have a totally different impression of Biotech oredi.. yuan lai biotech is all abt biology.. and mostly is abt human and animals.. i still tot it is all plants and little animals.. hMm... biotech is interesting... but i tink i'll still stick to biomed sci.. i'll NEVER choose Pharmaceutical Tech, if i got in there, i'll quit the course.. =p all chem and maths.... -_-! i tink i'll probably choose Biomedical Tech (BMT), have more interest in that bahz... ( and he'll choosing BMT too.. =p) ok lahz. hope my results zheng qi yi dian... or else i oso cannot get in.... haiz.....
Went to Kenny Roger wif Shee wee, wendy, janice, jezialle and benjamin.. hehe.. 1st time go there.. quite excited la... the food was not bad too! got chance muz go there k.. hehe.. overall a normal day.. hMm.. but tot of tml's Maths and BMic ( microbiology) test, i sian diao le... hope tml paper will be easy la .... =)
Tuesday, October 07, 2003
Cell bio test is quite a disaster... the paper is tough... but i try not to think abt it le.. i'll concentrate on other tests... no use brooding over it when it is over...
did all the extra questions of Intergration, did from 5pm-7pm, skipped my dinner and abit of Holland V, but its worth the sacrifice.. had a huge sense of satisfaction aft i've completed.. =) oso finished tutorial 9 of maths, and did OC toO... if only i can be that consistant everyday, but i doubt it lahz.. mayb this is juz a moment of "enthusiasiam", cos i did badly for 2 tests consecutively..
haha.. anywae felt quite happy whole day oso lahz.. not as bad as ydae... hmm... oso glad that i'm slowly used to his presence, wun feel uncomfortable like last time le.. =) but this make me miss him more if i dun see him... haha...
Monday, October 06, 2003
i'm tired.. i duno how to study anymore.. this is my first time crying aft a test, i duno how cum i become lidat, but the feeling juz overwelmed me. I studied last nite, but duno y, juz forgot everything when i see the question.. i wan to break down.. no energy left.. this week have so many tests, i duno whether i'll survive all... So faR tml's Cell Bio test i've covered 2 subtopics, but i duno whether i'll forget tml...
Sometimes i feel that i'm very useless... its not tt i'm scolding myself, but i really feel that way.. i feel i'm stupid too.. I look down on myself... i hate myself at times.. there are many ppl who cares, but i juz cannot giv myself tt small amount of sympathy.. aft the Organic Chem test, i feel utterly stupid... yes.. its stupid...
thx qing ai de for giving me the sweet to perk me up =) i really did cheer up in sch.. but i can't help thinking abt it on the way home, and even now i'm still thinking abt it.. i duno when i become so emotional, once i thought of it.. my tears start to pile up... forget it.. got to mug again.............
Sunday, October 05, 2003
dIdn gO for telematch today... feel so weird, regret somehow... haiz... anywae its over, no use thinking abt it... hMm...
today at least is quite an enjoyable day.. went for grandma's bdae celebration.. tHe feeling of gathering wif my cousins are great... =) played Risk the whole time, almost quarrel wif my brother though.. this is my 1st time playing, he keep stressing me.. as if i can take all the info at one go... kaoz! i shouted at him juz now! it's me hu are playing the game, not him... we are not allied anywae, y muz he keep scolding me!? -_- this type strategy game muz be learned from experience mahz... haiz.. 4get it lahz... can't be bothered... I love my little cousins, so cute though very noisy.. keep playing wif me.. haha... children are the best.. no stress, no worries, so innocent...
Aft tt went KTV, not too bad oso... but i very tired... Now my cousin Bernice is very sad, cos my aunt say sth abt her.. haiz... she cried, but i duno how to console her.. i sometimes wonder why would ppl want to say things abt others juz to hurt them... aren't they lame? and perhaps they have nth better to do!!! dislike this type of ppl...
Friday, October 03, 2003
vEry tireD~! today play badminton, almost the whole class was there... booked 4 courts, but i dun think it is enuf.. hMm... now feeling so exhuasted.. oso duno y... actually didn't play much today, but feeling weak when i was playing.. hmm.. off-form bahz.. =p CSAS test was quite difficult, i dun think i can do well in it... so much of english, when my english actually sux... haha... hope wun get too low lahz.. hehe~ aft the CSAS, went to SAFRA tampines to bowl.. wAhz!~ so throw face lorz... i was reluctant to play at 1st, becos my bowling really like shit... but aft i dun feel like going home so early in Friday evening, so might as well go... QING AI DE! KEEP LAUGHING AT ME!!! told u i lousy le... Janice and Wendy oso keep laughing.. haha~ nex time i dun wana play le lahz.. sObz!!! =p
hehe~ overall was an enjoyable day lahz.. hMm.. hope there are chances to meet and go out play again.. =)
Wednesday, October 01, 2003
fEel so tirEd... suX.. the feeling came back le.......feel so moody.. so out of place... feel so sad.... duno how to explain it, oso dun wish to explain.. but i noe someone will understand lahz... sometimes i thought that i already kai qiao le, and i really did.. but things keep happening, and trigger the thought of sorrow... i feel so tired, so tired of myself...
actually i owaz tell myself that life is already going very smoothly for me, becos i noe it is not worth to be sad or bothered over small things, but i juz can't help it.. i noe that many ppl faced more problems than me.... however, i'm juz not strong enuf to stand up during "difficult" times.. i dun wish to tell other ppl that i'm sad, becos i dun wish to affect them.. but somehow, qing ai de, u very liao jie me.. or can i say very observant? =p i dun wish to show it out lahz, but juz can't help it...
hMm.. hope everything will turn out fine... today is a sad day, tml will not be sad anymore.. this is my own experience bahz.. hehe~ so i try to look forward to tml, let today be the past.... put ur sorrow in the black box, and put ur happiness in the gold box.. sounds meaningful =) becos the black box have a hole underneath it, where all the sorrow can be lost...
