Loooong time din online~ Finally i'm done with tt pathetic OC.. Haha. I'm still left with 4/5 HPI and abt 3/4 of Fpath.. Pathetic. PMic i haben touch yet.. I wonder how am i able to survive the exams.. Haiz. My dreams are drifting away from me~~~

I desperately need a few As to compensate for my OC. I feel really hopeless in it. So so hopeless... I feel so demoralised as well, my OC project is gone. So much for my efforts, so much for my time where i spent 3days doing it, drawing all the structers. It is moderated according to peer evaluation, which i din do. Therefore i got a 0 for it, when i tink i did most of the parts. No one will understand how i feel, there's no use displaying the pathetic face as well. It is so unfair, mayb, i know i sounded crude, and apologise if i offend anyone, i feel i should not have put in that much effort in tt project after all, where u all get the grades while i suffer cos of a peer evaluation. I'm feeling so miserable. Sorry for sounding crude.

I have me myself to blame.. I'm feeling so helpless now.. I wish i could cry my heart out on this, but i can't. U all may not think that it is such an important issue, but to me, it is! It worthed 20% out of the 60% CA, i've got a dream which is to reach GPA > 3.0.. It matters alot to me! But..... What to do. No use crying over split milk? I just couldn't control...... I hate this miserable feeling.

Feeling so sianz! I hate exams!!!! Haiz.. Spent the weekends studying, but i was progressing really really slow! I wonder how am i going to study finish the 5 subjects. I spent 2 days on aimm, and i only manage to finish topc 4... -_-!! At least i had a break last nite, where i went to a restaurant for dinner with my cousins and relatives... Hehe.. Haiz, later i my cousins are going to East Coast Park to celebrate lantern festival... Haiz! Ber asked me whether i'm going later, cos our exams fall on the same day! Haiz.. So sad!!!!!!! I hate exams!

How i wish the exams can end quickly, but i hated holidays as well.. Argh... I find no meaning in life anymore! Lol... Haiz.. I wana go take lantern........... =(

My mum went for surgery this morning le.. Though it is a minor op, i'm still quite worried lahz... Hmmz, its juz a day surgery, and it is really minor, therefore i think she'll be very fine.. Quite looking forward to nex month, cos my mum really keen on learning swimming for the sake of health. Next time i can go with her regularly, not to learn of cos, but to swim myself!! At least there's a a fixed schedule for me as well.. Heez... =)

Later only have 2hr lecture.. Most probably going through the quiz. Although i did not study, i still hope it doesn't fail lahz, at least gimme a pass?? I've expected though, cos tt day was my piano exam, my heart and priority isn't in the insignificant test.. Hahaz. Well, wish me luck!

HaPpY 10Th mOnTh aNniVerSaRy~! =D

HeheZz.. Today's out 10th month anniversary le.. =) Although can't do anything much today, cos of tml's darn test!! Its still a special day.. =D Thx alot deardear for giving me presents! Hehez..

I have no mood to study now! Sianz.. As i looked through the Renal Physiology i've studied on sunday and monday, i found out that i actually dun remember a single thing.. How nice. Haha!~ Wish me luck tml lor..... =p

Came across a friend's blog, whom she wrote that she's feeling depressed and lonely, even in the accompany of friends. Hmmz, this was kinda familiar to me. I experienced that often in sec sch days, when i dun even knoe wat i wanted. This kind of feeling is not gd of cos, but i've sort of grown out of it since i came poly.. Haha, also duno y, perhaps i'm immuned? Toleranced? Lolz.. It may be a gd thing... Hmmz... Anywae if tt person manage to saw my entry, it may just be the moodswings, and it will soon pass.. Hahaz~ =)

Today's rather a relaxing day... However, i bet the weeks to come aren't going to be any bit of relaxing.. Sianz~ I just hated the exams.. Hmmz, better jia you bah!~ Hopefully everyone can pass with flying colours!!~ Better if whole cohort get 90%, see how's the Z going to be shared.. ;)

Argh... so pissed off now! Really.. I'm trying very hard not to have any negative thoughts about u, and i actually felt guilty after every "fa xie", cos i tink i shld not tok abt u like tt.. But why?! Why must u force me to have such thoughts?!~ What exactly do u want??!!!!!

My left forearm muscle is so weak and tired! U know, tt sour feeling!! Argh... having difficulty typing now. Anywae, din realise that i actually hold dear's hand for so tight and so long, until i release my grip then i felt the tension. Haha! Yeahz... we went ice-skating today. Hehe.. Celebrate our advance 10th month anniversary =) Its been ages since i stepped into the pool of ice, the last time i went was after O level, with my sec sch frenz~ Hehez..

I was rather unstable in the beginning, but was quite happy that i take a shorter time to get use to the "slippery-ness" with it again.. =p Luckily i din fall today.. =p I did not let go of my deardear's hand until an hour later.. Hehez.. Very nice!! I wana go again!~ Heez =D But was super unhappy with those "act-pros", keep cutting people's line and scrap the ice.. So cocky! So funny when some of them fall!!!! Haha.. serve them rite man. =p Hahaz.. I wana go blading and skating after the exams... =D

So sad that we can only skate for 2 hrs, cos of my piano lesson!!! Haiz.. today we din play, except to listen to several grade 8 pieces. The difference is so big between grade 7 and 8. Pengz.. i tink i cnnt make it anymore.. The songs are so fast and awful!!! I wan romantic ones!!! Hahaz.. I have a bad feeling abt this ah!!!~ I dun wana learn anymore!~

All of them cheat my feelings!!! They said they wanna play sp tonite, but i waited for 2 hrs le.. Finally, frank is online.. Lol.. Jan and ben were lost! Haha.. nvm lahz.. anywae spent the time finishing my pmic project. Quite happy that it was almost done, besides the mutual checking of each other's report with my deardear. Hehe... My hands are dead after typing, almost 10+pages of words.. Haiz.

The week have not been smooth i guess. Everybody was too stressed up! Well.. I wan to change my life, i want to change who i am now, i wan to change to be healthy....... Who doesn't?

Was feeling so sleepy and exhausted to study any further.. Wanted to study OC, but my body gave way.. Argh.. I duno whether isit stress or due to lack of slp last nite, probably both, i'm feeling hot all over and kinda having a mild sore throat. Hmmz, basically worry abt my piano exam more than anything else. I swear i would rather fail my OC test rather than failing my piano exam. Lol.. Of cos it would be better if i pass both lah.. Haha. Feeling so sick now.. U know, stress can actually decrease the IgA secretion in the mucosa e.g tears, saliva. Haha.. read in newspapers. Therefore, i guess i'm susceptible to all kind of infections now, so plz stay clear away from me! Btw.. Qad, put me in laminar flow with the chickens!

Ohh.. Sent a mass sms to all my sec sch frenz who are taking A levels this year. Haha.. I've read in Psych that in the midst of stress, there must be a few uplifts. This can prevent mental breakdown i guess.. Haha.. Hopefully my encouragement can be one of the uplifts for them bah! =p Jia you for all ur prelims k... =) Like wat i told xp, dun be too stressed up even if u can't get the facts right now, cos this is only the prelims, u'll be an expert when A levels come.. =)

Kinda miss sec sch life.. At least, there's not as much stress as we experienced now. Hmmz, guess everyone dun really enjoy life until they look back and regret. But one thing for sure, we are lucky to be what we are in now, becos the life in uni is much more hectic. Haha.. From wat i know, my bro started sch at start of Aug, now is the 1 week study break for them, and he'll be having exams next week.. Wahaha.. Bless him huh. 7 subjects! =p

I kinda like being nostalgic at times, especially when i look back at my childhood and the past, which i longed to go back. They give me a sense of growing up. Well, certainly, i'm more innocent in the past.. =x Haha.. As one grows up, i guess the environment will force u to become someone that's not u anymore.. Anywae, we are definitely much more fortunate than those people we've seen ydae at the charity show.. I wonder if they understand what they undergo, and does the 4yr old boy who has full blown AIDS know that his life are short? Why muz this happen to some ppl, why isn't life fair? Well, no one knows the ans except the one above. Anywae the show was quite nice, the magic tricks are simply captivating!!!! Hehe.. there was once item performed by the singapore idol wannabes, the acappella version of Stand By Me, where the guys sang the base, and the girls sang the tune. Haha.. I guess my batch of npcc and red cross will find this very familiar. Haha.. This is sort of our trademark, our song, where we combined to perform this similar item on teachers' day in sec 3. Those were the days.. =)

Zzz.. i'm so sleepy! I even dreamt that i was so tired in my dreams, and i dread to go to sch. Haha.. I think the dream really comes true bah. Was late for 8am AIMM lec today.. Argh! So pissed off.. My dad was soooo slow! He dragged til 7.50pm before we can set off.. Haiz. My blood almost boiled... Hmmz, rotting in com lab now, just finish our aimm lab. Sianz.. ELISA again. Haha..

Later having PMic lab.. So sianz!!!! Argh! I wonder when i'll find life interesting. I dread holidays to come, but at the same time, i'm so sick of sch. So what do i want?? Argh.. Fan Jian. I also duno wat i wan!~Kill me? Haha.. I'm sick of living anywae.. I wana be kaoru! Wahahaha! Oh ya! Just now at aimm lab, during the 30mins reaction time, Alvin was listening to his mp3. Gosh! Suddenly i heard a soundtrack from Samurai X! I was sooooooo surprised!!! Wahaha.. i tot he was watching the anime or wat.. haha.. guess i think too much! =p

Feeling so sad!!!!! Today's FPath quiz very difficult..!! Haiz... The last 6 mark questions can go die liao...~~ =( Hopefully i wun get a C bah.. I want to get at least B..! Haiz... Well well, but i'm prepared for the worse anywae..

Phew!~ Been very busy for this week! Last week i'm still thinking that i wun survive this ordeal... Well well.. Everything was ending~! Haha.. I'm still having my Psych common test tml, its my last chance to score well..!~~~!!! just hope for the best bah!~ However, tonite i'm having piano lessons as well, cos my exam's nex wednesday.. How the hell am i going to study for Psych?! Hmmz, time is really crashing on me. Test after test, projects after projects, presentations after presentations, all this accumulated and knock me out! I was so stressed too!!! I dun show out doesn't mean i'm not.. Was stressed up yesterday, cos i thought i have to balance between piano, studying FPath, doing OC tutorial, and FPath lab report.. Fortunately! FPath lab is only due on next Tuesday, and mervin helped to do that.. Million thanks to u! I reached home at 3.30pm, and promised myself to practise til 4pm, however my fingers really gave way sia.. Haiz.. My keyboard was really to hard!! I regret buying that piano... Now i'm so worried abt my exam, i dun wana flunk it! It costs around $3000+ a year, although that amt may not seem too much to some of u, but it really suffocate our family expenses.

Now in com lab again. Couldn't access the peer evaluation thingy.I'm so thankful to Dr Low that she reopened that survey!~ She almost changed my life.. Wahahaha! =p

Today had our final Psychology presentation and project submission! After Sat's common test, i can relax!!! Yeahz.. except for the online quizzez of cos.. Haha! I'm quite happy with today's presentation, cos we are the first 2 groups to present, and the marking will be rather lenient! I wana salute to Jenny who answered all the Q&As and her shooting skills were the most powerful i've seen in my 18yrs of life.. Wahaha! Our teacher said that generally the groups had donw quite well, that's really a gd thing.. =)

Today's PMic quiz was rather a breeze as well. It is not that i've studied well enough, just that the answers to that question can be copied and paste from the notes and tutorial wk sheets! Hahaha... It is an open book test! Wow.. If that type of questions came out for exams as well.. How nice.. =pPp Haha! Today had a hilarious day as well!!~ Hahaz.. guess u all wouldn't understand if i wrote it here.. Haha, it was just like a personal "joke". It is the first time that i've seen wendy cried so hard and so long! Her tears were almost flowing man... Haha!!!~ Walauz.. make me laugh til so xin ku also...!!! Lol~~~! I think we totally have no "xing xiang" after that, and a few people sitting in front of us gave us a look.. Hahaz.. Who cares anywae~

Felt so tired now after studying a little for Fpath. Btw, very sorry to xp and fiona~ Perhaps i didn know how to manage my time well bahz~ I owaz seems to be behind schedule of everything, therefore cannot join u all for swimming tml.. Promise will make up to it k.. =) To all JC people, jia you for ur prelims!! =) And to all Bio/Bms ppl.. Good luck for Fpath quiz... =D

The feeling in me is totally different now!!~ U know what.. Samurai X is played again on AXN!!!~ Gosh... My kenshin.. I owaz refer it to Kenshin era during the months before i enter poly, because that's when i'm so obsessed with him.. Wahaha! Hmmz, the feeling is rekindling!~ Hahaz.. I feel so shocked when i was studying for PMIC this evening, and my bro went to switch on the TV and the song was played!!!!!~ I was so distracted that i couldn't study!! And he came in to tell me that it was played again, and this time is 1 hour, which means 2 episodes in a day!!! Argh..... Of cos, i went out to watch~!! Still the beginning part, where everything is so innocent and cute.... =) I like it so much... My kenshin........ =D I can see myself in there everytime i watch the show...... =p Hee!~ It makes me sOooOoo happy!~ =D Well well.. who can understand this feeling anywae? Wahahaha....! =D

Busy preparing for my psycho presentation thingy, therefore there's not much time to study for tml's test. Wahaha... Nvm lahz, today i'm in a very gd mood! =) Hopefully things go well tml.. Hehe! I was so glad that my group was the first to present, it is a blessing in disguise.. Wahaha! We can get it over and done with very soon... Yeah!!! =) I want my kenshin!~ =D

I'm very sick and tired now! Argh.. i'll most probably did badly for my coming PMic quiz! Cos i simply can't study!~ I studied 3/4 of it yesterday, but my highligher disappoint me. I've just found out that i have to prepare my psych presentation tml.. Haiz. I can't open the Yahoo briefcase now! Duno for wat reason~~~~!!! The powerpoint slides are all inside.. Haiz, wat happen to that stupid briefcase?! I can't possibly study right now. Its so late already.. And, my mum says i look so ugly upon reaching home, she said the dark rings under my eyes are so hideous.. Well well, when do i look pretty at all?

Hmmz, on a lighter note, today's not a bad day after all. I am not bothered by the peer evaluation thingy anymore. I had enough and as long as i know i've done my part in the project, that's it. Hmmz, today PMic lecture quite funny bahz~ haha! Oh btw, if u all wana buy chicken rice in the future, buy it from Wee!!! U know what, she actually said that the chickens are prepared aseptically in a cleanroom, yeahz, all operators have to gown up, and cut the chicken in the laminar air flow.. Pengz! She'll start the new Sterile Chicken Rice!

Got back AIMM quiz 2. Hmmz, still can lahz.. i cannot expect too much bahz, because i know i did not really prepare for this quiz. Hahaz.. However, the average is still a C, from quiz 1, term test and this test.. Sianz. Hopefully my main exam can push me to at least a B.. Jia you~!

I've been thinking alot nowadays.. Dun get me wrong, i'm not having moodswings. I'm just worried abt the OC peer evaluation thingy. Guess no one can really understand how i feel.. But who am i suppose to blame? Sometimes i just hated myself so much, i just can't help it that i've totally forgotton it. Yeahz, i've studied little Psychology, forgetting sets in when memory fails.. It is just so natural, however, does anyone really scan their mind through psychology text book and understand by putting themselves in my shoe? None.. Esp the lecturers. They dun give a damn to such things i guess.. U done it, means u've done it. That's it. I remembered in sec sch, a teacher told us that teachers have to study Psychology, its like one for their modules. However, how much does they apply? I dun see that...

I've sent a mail to Dr Low regarding this matter. As i've expected, i received no news from her. I'm just thinking and worrying since last friday.. I'm getting sick of it. Although i've prepared for the worst, and have told myself that getting a 0 is no big deal, it just doesn't turn out fine. Forget it perhaps, it is my fault. No use crying over split milk.. I'm such a failure.

Anywae, managed to study 3/4 of PMic today. My momentum was however disrupted, due to running out of ink of my highlighter. Shall continue tml.. I'm not preparing early for the quiz, just that i have so many things to do this week. Although Pmic quiz's on wed, i think i'll spend my tuesday preparing for Psych presentation. Hopefully everything ends well, its better to have it done once and for all..

Hehe! Changed skin again.. I've deleted the previous post as it was too crude, and it simply spoil the skin. Hahaz. Anywae, gals are petty, i will never forgive him in my entire life.. However like Feez said, sad memories should be deleted bah~ Hahaz.. Well, i've deleted it. However, it is a flashbulb memory huh..

Anywae nth much today except studies. Btw, there's 3 quizzes next week for those who are late or missed out these info.
8 Sept, Wed - PMic topic 3 on Asepsis
10 Sept, Fri - FPath on Inflammation, Neoplasia and Ischaemia (Thrombus and Embolism)
11 Sept, Sat - IGS common test

Ermz, something really bothered me as well. I forgot to submit the peer evaluation survey and the dateline was yesterday. I was feeling like shit.. Guess no one can understand perhaps. I spent nights on it, and if i'm gonna get 0 for peer evaluation just because i forgot to submit, u bet i wouldn't break down.