Hmmz! My throat is 60% recovered~! So happy... 3 cheers for amoxycillin! But i woke up with stiff neck today. Not today actually, its been around since ydae... argh. super uncomfortable.. Later going to Heartland Mall around 5.45pm meet xp to reg for kickboxing le! =) Hees... But i can get my track shoes asap first..

Holidays are so boooorring!! At least i have some plan for this week!

-Mon-
Stay at home rot. Practice piano. Meet xp at heartland mall later.
-Tues-
Go deardear house! Cook our own food, den watch Jian Gui 2 together.
-Fri-
Kbox with gladys, wee they all.
-Sat-
Pulau Ubin trip? Go Queensway with xp/fiona? (pending)

I want to cut fat. A stupid idiotc fren keep saying i cubby. Wth..

finally things are getting better! hmmz... gain back abit of heath aft 2 days of battling. However, was not well enough to go for morning's piano lesson. So sad, wasted $50.. =/ But right now am feeling much better as compared of last 2 days of hell. Its the med that make me sick, not the illness..=/ To think that this stupid drugs can make me feel like living in hell, and yet i'm studying them. Fan jian!~ hahaz.. but my family thought i very clever, always tell them abt wat antibiotics do, tell them abt the toxic index everything, tell them abt the active ingredients and filler (prodrug), the class of drugs, their mechanism of action, etc.. they tink i'm god! wahahaha! juz a little bit of basic pharmacology!

So xian mu..! today 4/2's gathering to kbox. Yup selina they all asked me on thurs, and wanted to cfm on friday to tell them i going. Haiz.. But came down with this stupid thingy!! Make me wasted 2 trips of kbox. First is with Shee wee and wendy, 2nd is this class gathering! zzz... Qi si wo le. Hopefully gladys can quickly arrange successfully, and shee wee, dun wait aft 15th april lah! i rotting away......

I'm so sick of being sick. There's only 15mins in every 4 hours that i'll feel better. Why isit still 38 degress celsius... zzz.

Can't tok.. my throat hurts like hell.

Feeling so lethargic today! Haiz.. the lazier i am at home, the weaker and lethargic i felt. Gonna buy track shoes on Sat (maybe) and join kickboxing with xp and yc! Yupz.. Planning to swim and gain back my stamina (if i have any) this holiday. Can't stand anymore idling around. Fats are accumulating, my joints are getting stiff, arms are becoming flaccid, and i reckon i would fail 2.4km run now! =/

Err.. cannot study today leh. duno y.. haiz. hopefully later i can get some mood. Intend to finish whole of topic 4 today! Pengz.. hopefully can bah. Conquere the difficult part first, to prevent myself from getting too stressed tml. Haiz.. I seriously think that my eyesight is deteriorating. Every night i had difficulty opening my eyes and staying focus, been very sensitive to bright lights. Haiz..

Went to take 10mins nap juz now. Suddenly i heard the sound of drilling above me!!! Kaoz.. was so panicked!! I dun wan to have any renovation at this time of the week!! =/=/ Phew.. anyway it only last for 5mins.. Hahaz... Almost died!

^If oNly i cAn tUrn bAck tiMe, i wouLd rEally cHeriSh the 2 of yOu.. *siGh*.. Can sOmeonE tEach mE hoW to cHerIsh the cuRrEnt onEs? i'M rEaLLy stuPid..^

I felt that i lost track of the dates since i come to poly.. sometimes i dun even remember which month. -_-! Lolz.. so sorry. didn know today is 21st. Hehe.. Happy 16th month deardear!! *muackz*!!! =pPp

Anywae today had our 2nd last paper.. Hmmz, i've been hoping to get a B for PC, but i dun tink it can come true now. Haiz.. suan le. My CA is a C, therefore i need at least a B+ for the main paper to get a B, but i juz let go 20marks... Kaoz. Rather demoralized when i did the paper today, because i know how to do the synthesis in past yr paper!!! Yet today's 2 synthesis questions can really kill me.. haiz... =/ Fated i guess. I can even forget formulas, equation and the graph at that moment. what the hell am i doing man..

Well, its okie i guess. As long as i can pass it huh? =) Yup.. shall stop right here.. Gonna pia Bpharm the next 2 days, den finally i can let go everything. But i dread holidays!!!!! =/ NVm me..

^I've lost 2 important people in my life already, i dun wish to lose anyone further^

Life is so one-sided at times. We may insult others or accuse of something people do, but all these reflect back to yourselves. I've been observing since pri sch, when someone says e.g "she brought so many things juz to show off", it also can means that the person who said that actually did this thing himself! Yup.. Without u knowing. Ok, that's a poor example i know.

I can understand since all humans are like that. If everyone got to think before he talks, i tink nobody will be talking in this world. Its like, before pointing your finger at others, mayb u can reflect whether u are like that urself first.. I know it is difficult, and i myself cannot do that. Sometimes, this is juz the fact that needed to be reminded by someone. I'm not refering to anyone particular, just sudden thought of what i've observed in the past.

I can say i'm more sensitive to other people's feeling in pri sch.. I felt like a saint at that time. lolz.. But as i grow up, i tend to be more "heck care" altho i know that i shldn't be like that. Can't help it. The environment forced me to change.. I feel like i'm spending my life away without doing anything pleasing to people or contribute to the economy. Perhaps i'm really destined to be alone and rot away.. I felt like i'm Meide in that 9pm show, perhaps i haben learnt how to love the people around me.

Life is so one-sided at times. We may insult others or accuse of something people do, but all these reflect back to yourselves. I've been observing since pri sch, when someone says e.g "she brought so many things juz to show off", it also can means that the person who said that actually did this thing himself! Yup.. Without u knowing. Ok, that's a poor example i know.

I can understand since all humans are like that. If everyone got to think before he talks, i tink nobody will be talking in this world. Its like, before pointing your finger at others, mayb u can reflect whether u are like that urself first.. I know it is difficult, and i myself cannot do that. Sometimes, this is juz the fact that needed to be reminded by someone. I'm not refering to anyone particular, just sudden thought of what i've observed in the past.

I can say i'm more sensitive to other people's feeling in pri sch.. I felt like a saint at that time. lolz.. But as i grow up, i tend to be more "heck care" altho i know that i shldn't be like that. Can't help it. The environment forced me to change.. I feel like i'm spending my life away without doing anything pleasing to people or contribute to the economy. Perhaps i'm really destined to be alone and rot away.. I felt like i'm Meide in that 9pm show, perhaps i haben learnt how to love the people around me.

Life is so one-sided at times. We may insult others or accuse of something people do, but all these reflect back to yourselves. I've been observing since pri sch, when someone says e.g "she brought so many things juz to show off", it also can means that the person who said that actually did this thing himself! Yup.. Without u knowing. Ok, that's a poor example i know.

I can understand since all humans are like that. If everyone got to think before he talks, i tink nobody will be talking in this world. Its like, before pointing your finger at others, mayb u can reflect whether u are like that urself first.. I know it is difficult, and i myself cannot do that. Sometimes, this is juz the fact that needed to be reminded by someone. I'm not refering to anyone particular, just sudden thought of what i've observed in the past.

I can say i'm more sensitive to other people's feeling in pri sch.. I felt like a saint at that time. lolz.. But as i grow up, i tend to be more "heck care" altho i know that i shldn't be like that. Can't help it. The environment forced me to change.. I feel like i'm spending my life away without doing anything pleasing to people or contribute to the economy. Perhaps i'm really destined to be alone and rot away.. I felt like i'm Meide in that 9pm show, perhaps i haben learnt how to love the people around me.

I really hate monday papers. I'm totally off in the weekends. At least i finished topic 2. But tml i'm forced to go shao mu. kaoz.. i hate paper on monday, my dad dun understand at all.. My cousins owaz say got tuition den dun go, why muz he force me to go when i have exam. I dun mind going, but not when i have to wake up at 5am, den go out, reach home at 2pm... I need my energy to study for goodness sake~ Really pissed off.

Life is going more smoothly actually. But there are some things that always happened to spoil it. I shan't say what.. Anywae, as we grow older, we take different paths as our friends. There bound to be neglect here and there due to different lifestyle, as well as a little drift apart.. But it all comes to the same when we all meet up someday. It's not as if a little "lost in contact" can means forever, because precisely its my exam period! A little setback owaz make a simple thing seem as if it is so bad. I duno wat to say. I'm so tired. Can't even allow me to study in peace.

Poly has its own stress and heavy schedules. People owaz say JC is the worse.. for goodness sake, dun say until u have experienced poly. Our stress is on-going, not juz during A levels. Every single tutorial, every single mini test, every single projects count in overall.. And no matter how bad we've done in year 1, there's no turnback! That's where our stress accumulates!

I'm so tired.. physically i mean. I'm numbed mentally. Life is going upside down. Things which are used to be good are becoming worse now. Yet things that always go wrong, turns out so well when i least expected it. Zzz.

Hehe! Finally i can take a short breather after PA paper.. =) The test was alot alot better than term test 1, but u know, cannot yi bu deng tian.. I might juz pass the paper, but i'm still wondering whether i can pass overall... Hmmz.. Well, its not up to me to think abt it now.. Anywae i'm happy for today's paper..! =D

Aft that got Bpharm consultation... Nth much. Got back Bpharm quiz 2 paper, very happy, but really very shock too! All i can say is tai ko one, cos i left 2 whole questions blank when i was doing the paper, after that den i really anyhow biang one.. Hmmz.. Lucky i guess.. =)

Later went to TM to have dinner! Hahaz.. thanks Shee Wee, Janice, Benjamin, Emily, Wendy, and Joanne for the Birthday treat for me and Ai Qin.. =)=) Really thanks... Hee! Haiz.. I gained 1kg... =/ But very happy lah, cos i looked back at the pics i took one year ago, and as compared to now.. hehe.. i felt there's really a difference.. Wahaha... *Self-proclaimed*

Yay! Can relax today liao! Hmmz.. tml muz start chionging again.. Good luck to everyone!! *muackz* Love ya all.. =D

Mon 19th anniversaire est aujourd'hui!! Je ne suis pas heureux!! =( Lolz... Nvm, i'm still as young as 12years old.. wahaha! Today so sad sia... going PLM term test 2, still muz study for PA test tml.. boo! Today's paper CMI lor!! Kaoz.... Say its from the text, in the end so many applcation and thinking questions.. I'm actually considering taking another track like Business next time, i promise i wun aft this test!! Pengz..Goner!!!!!!!!!

It shan't affect me i suppose.. Anywae i tink still can pass. My simple aim is juz to pass all subjects will do.. =) I'm fearful for tml's PA.. I MUST PASS!!! Sigh... Anywae thanks to my deardear, my cousins, my aunt and all my friends for wishing me today!! =) And all your presents! Esp Emily and Yingyou, thx for ur starry necklace, really beautiful! =) And thx to Bernice for the Moonlight Perfume! Yupz.. I'm thinking of getting one actually.. =) And my deardear for the HUGE birthday cake!! Lolz.. Pengz... 1kg cake shared between the 2 of us.. Wahaha! Oh ya... did i mention, its a bearbear cake! hahaz.. Dun worry dear, i liked it.. =) I only scared that i'll gain 10kg after this week... =/

Special Thanks my beloved deardear! Who called and sing me a bithday song! Hehes! And xueping (22.30), colleen (23.45), liren (00.01), Wendy (00.04), Janice (00.05), Jia Yong (00.05), Bernice (00.10), Emily (00.10), DearDear (00.23), Jun Wen (00.24), Wei Xiang (02.06), Ai Qin (07.22), Aunt (07.30), Yuen Ching (07.57), Selina (08.02), Fiona (08.07), Limin (08.55), Jiahe (10.05), Shu Qin (12.52), Juan Zee (15.37), Li Ping (16.13)... =)

And those those who wished me today! Shee Wee, Emily, Adeline Yap, Mervin, Melvin, Gladys. And those who wish me through deardear, sally and peishan.. =) Thanks people.. =) *i'm happier in this year's birthday* Thanks alot.. =D

Finally! I just need 18 more earths to level up my magic!! Anyone can donate to me?? =D Pengz, i've been waiting for this for a long time. If i fail the level up conversion, i promise that i'll quit SP!

I'm blessed with such serene environment, with a proper clean table, soothing music playing, and a most relaxing cooling air-conditioned room. Poor deardear, com kana virus, cnnt even listen to music. Poor janice, neighbour's place having renovation! Haha.. =p But WHY?! WHY I JUST CAN'T SETTLE DOWN AND STUDY?!!!!!!

Thanks to all, i've REALLY sorted out my thinking. Whatever results come out, i'll accept it. I wun do anything mean to myself again. If i'm going to be look down by others, let them be.. I juz wan to be carefree and happy.

Yet i'm so sad right down.. Please, dun let the clock strike 12....... =/

I really can't take it anymore.. I really feel like wanting to quit the course. I'm so regretful that i've chosen PS.. Its really breaking me apart. I never felt this way before. I'm so tired that i could die. I inspire to do better and reach a GPA 3.0, i manage to increase from 2.2 to 2.8 now. Why must this happen to me. Why must it dash and destroy my dream. I have no more motivation and aim to study anymore. This goal has been my motivation. I'm really so tired. I'm so tired of crying....... I've never been so tired before.. I never cried so much in my life before, not within a week.

Finally i changed a kenshin skin! Hehe.. he's still my fav cartoon character and idol.. =)

It has been really a rough week for me. I thought i was not going to live pass it. Well, at least 3/4 of the journey is over.. What has happened has already happened, i shan't remind myself of those sad incidents anymore. It's ok to be bad in studies, as long as i know i've put in effort.

French speaking test today was a goner, but i'm really ok with it.. as long as i can pass it =) After that actually went to join deardear and his classmates at Kbox. Mervin, Peishan, Sally, Nankai, Deardear and Gladys. Was hesitating on the bus, but decided to go for some "relaxation".. u know, i'm so shy, dun dare to sing in front of people. Lolz.. Was kinda tensed up and awkward in the beginning, but after that i was really truly relaxed. To wee and my gang: I actually solo quite a few songs leh, proud of me not? =p haha.. they really sing, not shout.. =p lolz.. so i tink my voice is not that covered as much. Well, really enjoyed myself.. =D Always felt happy after Kbox session, songs are really good at de-stressing. hee~ Everything juz dissolve in there juz now.. (",) Thx dear for everything.. *muaCkz*

I've read this week's Mind Your Body section in the Straits Times juz now. This is wat it says "Occasion stress can actually built up ur immunity". Is that why i'm so immuned flunking tests now? I would rather stay immuned actually.. =)

supposed to blog ydae, but the system was so laggy that i have no choice but to delete my long post~! Nvm.. anywae must blog abt ydae cos i was happy! =)

Stress level has greatly reduced aft this week, so finally i can have a breather. Yesterday went to sch at 830am to collect newspapers for APEL 2, but was late cos my dad force me to have breakfast first, he scared i faint.. Well.. Therefore i reached at 850am.. Haha.. Was abit upset by the residents' response ydae, cos not many are willing to give away, many didn open the door.. Perhaps it was too early.. Last time we collected for NP, and its only our unit of mayb 40 people?? Den the collection was much more!! Well, its okie lahz, i've done my job.. =p

After that Mr Ko wanted to meet us. He brought a cake, and to our surprise, he actually prepared the cake for March babies, cos thre are 5 people in my class whose birthday is at March! Hehe! =p Wahz, so special only for March, i strongly suspect he know my true identity as a princess! =D Lols.. thanks thanks... =D He prepared 19 candles i think, but we only wan 18 candles to be put on.. Wahaha! Yong yuan 18 sui!

After that went piano! Happy!!! Finally finished playing a piece!!! =D Damn, grade 8 was so tough, i dun tink i can make it for the June internal exam.. At least i finished 1 piece in March? Lols.. Hmmz, den was practising at other rooms after my lesson, and i composed a song myself!!! It's Ning Xia from Fish Leong.. So nice! Hahaz... shall finish the song if i have the time.. =p

Went to meet my sec sch buds after that! Sorry was late cos i went home and fell asleep.. Too tired! Hehe.. Meet at PS initially, but went over to Suntec's Kenny Rogers to eat at last. Hehe.. So long didn't have Kenny Rogers, so happy..! As usual they owaz like to suan me, which i duno y.. mayb i too innocent and cute lahz, but they dun believe i'm mature already. Hehe! Really enjoyed their company thoroughly... =)=) We spent a long time at Kenny cos we were joking and talking abt stupid things we did in the past!! Omg.. So funny and warm!! I shld say i missed the past, but i'm happy with my present too.. Hahaz... Love just the talking itself.. =) Love u guys to bits... *muackZz*! Hees...

Went to Esplanade later to tok cock again.. Hehe! Sometimes we need not do fun things together to be fun, just by talking with some great pals, u'll feel delighted.. =) Hopefully u girls can get to the course u desired..! All the best..! =) And thank deardear for accompany me home~! *muack muack!!* =p I received great presents too!!!! A light blue bikini bra set, and a Ripcurl beach slipper from Fiona, A pink hearts wallet from Selina, Limin, NaiYing and Liping! Thanks alot! Really like them!! =D=D Even my mum likes them.. Lol! =D

P.S. Please tell limin someone, when see this msg.. YOU ALL MUST BRING ME TO KBOX ALSO!! ( so bad, ask me when's my exams over, like so interested like that, in the end say wun ask my go anywae...... humph)

It isn't dependent on self-discipline alone! I force myself to study from 7.45pm! And i sit and really tried very hard to focus.. Until 10pm, i hardly finish half a topic 3, and i dun even recalled what i've memorized. The structures everything, i totally forgot... I hate it! ITS NOT THAT I'M NOT TRYING! I TRIED! WHY MUST THIS HAPPENS TO ME?!

I hate those people who can study so well... I HATE ALL OF U! Why the hell did i choose PS?! I'm so weak in chemistry especially, why muz i drag myself into this shit! Why must i study the things i'm not interested in?!~ WHAT'S ALL THE FUSS ABOUT STUDYING MACHINES AND THEIR USES?! AND THOSE USELESS HPLC AND CPS?!

I hate this semester. I really hate it a lot! Those who are good in studies, u ppl stay out of this. I'm just venting my frustration! So words of "scolding" or "encouraging" could help! U ppl juz dun understand!!!!!!!

Did i forget to mention?! I lost my French Text Book today. How am i going going to study for a 30% speaking test??? Can someone tell me?