Getting sick of life. I see people celebrating after their exams, i see ppl's life so happening and exciting. Mine is dull.... Its work that makes it dull. Sigh.. I dun like working life after all. Like what i've said, perhaps working is not that bad. Its the endless assignments, projects, and log books that makes it really tiring. I'm really really sick of it. I wish all these can end soon...

My sec sch buddies are meeting to go out on Bugis this Tues. Where am i? Work. I'm alone in poly, therefore my schedule often dun match with theirs. Sux.. I want to play, i want to have fun, i dun wan to work and work and work. I dun wan to face my sup everything, i dun wan to be suffocated by her, i dun wan her to keep telling me to improve on my project. What's the point of working so hard? My proposal sux. Miss Hor's words aren't nice, demoralized i would say. Wat's the point man...

Sch's stress. But at least many ppl around u are going thru the same thing, u wun feel alone. Guess i'm not independent yet. I feel like going out with my frenz, i feel like celebrating like them, i feel like breathing some fresh air. I dun wan to worry abt projects and log bks all day long, leaving gaming my only source of entertainment and escapade. Can all these f***ing ppl who created all these juz die? Leave me alone..

Wow~ i felt as if my blog didn't exist anymore, simply neglected, only if its only 4 days.. =p Hmmz, life's getting better at SOC. Seems weird, but i dun dread going work everyday after i'm rotated to SOC. Because i need to not worry whether i'll have things to do, everyday will be busy busy busy~ Love this kinda work, tiring tho.. =p Sighz, but next week either me or gotta go down to basement!!!!! Argh.. =(

Felt that the learning process here is much better than inpatient. The IC here took care of our learning, and did plan with us wat we can learn. e.g. we came up with a goal of doing at least 10 dispensing in our stay here. She also recommend us to go attend Asthma & Anti-coagulant clinic on saturdays, where she'll give us hours off on weekdays to compensate. Hmmz.. =) Today gotta observe lots of dispensing, and was suddenly asked to dispense. Argh.. Was so scared!! =/ But i duno whether am i lucky or not, cos i was supposed to dispense to 2 patients, one is taking glucosamine, one will be the piroxicam cream. I duno, but i felt relieved when both patients were not around at tt time.. =p man.. i got to be brave, i cannot juz slip my chance away.

I felt abit detached with current life.. sigh.. everyday was too occupied, like what i say, no time for myself. Daytime = work, Night time = chiong project or assignments. Haiz.. no life. Argh....

Having dull pain in my chest area and back, since morning... i know i'm paranoid. But its at the left side, where my heart is located. I tot i'll be having heart attack. Sigh.. why is this happening? anywae, isit only heartburn? What exactly is that? What are the symptoms? Cos i'm having abit of gastric this morning, i hope its only tt.. =/ Shall swallow whole bottle of Mag Trisilicate and see wat happens.. =p

Doing stats is fun, but it took up too much time! Zzz.. Anywae glad that i'm done with all the graphs and pie charts, dreading the next step, RESULTS AND DISCUSSIONS! Damn it, need to produce this by Wed. Stupid WO! My proposal is 25 pages after double spacing! Left 15 pages for report.. zzz. Still keep telling me its NOT ENOUGH! Raised it up to her, she juz smiled. HA HA~ Very funny indeed. -_-!

Very sorry to Emily and Janice, i break our routine gym sessions on Sat! =/ Piano lesson was changed due to some last minute arrangement cos of some other students! I always have to adapt to that change of timing, duno why. I requested for 3pm lesson next week le!!! Promise muz go gym! Tell me i'm putting on weight, haiz. Somehow i was thinking, i developed a big butt during puberty! Can u imagine, i weight 38kg in P6, and was 48kg in Sec 1, without putting on much mass. This is how much a big butt can add to ur weight. So, i should actually weigh lighter than my actual weight rite, if my butt were to be smaller? =D Come on, comfort me. =p

Sigh.. tml's work day again. Somehow i wish attachment can end soon~ SOC dun leave me any nice memories so far, haha.. Everyday its the same, busy busy busy! Time flies.. Zoom.. go home.. Den next day again. -_-! No life sia..... Sigh, i hope the IC can forget abt swapping us to Basement pharmacy. I dun wan to be alone... =(

I wonder is this the kind of life you will really experience when u go out to work. I dun wan~ =/ I dun wan to grow up!

4th day at SOC (Specialists Outpatient Clinic) pharmacy. So far it was alrite, initial part is always the toughest, therefore i'm still going thru it. Really hate the adapting part. However, think of how i dislike SP73 in the beginning, i should feel happier here instead. Partly because time really flies here, busy all day long keeps u busy, and wun think so much. I love the hectic worklife.. =p

Enjoyed doing Counter/Reception, where u collect prescriptions from patients and give them queue number, doing some checking as well as the duration. Hahaz, kinda fun, but stressed. Really feel so happy when they tell me some indications (e.g. a drug that reduce water), and that particular drug they want to omit, i know they are refering to Frusemide in the prescription. Hees.. However, more sense of satisfaction comes when patient really come back and thank you sincerely for your help, cos i helped an auntie to jump queue cos of her leg intolerance to air-con. =) So happy when someone really thank you, acknowledge you.

Din really know the people there, but do take note of those good and friendly ones. Those with a niao face, suan le... =p hahaz... overall was okay, work is too busy to think too much. Darn, next week me and dear will be separated. Hope i can survive, alone. =/

Sooooo lethargic and sleepy!! Duno why, owaz feel tired on Sunday! =/ Went back to sch ydae, it was okay i guess, i dun really miss studying. hahaz.. but neither do i like working. I just like to see my frenz, having fun together, going thru thin and thick together. Work, everything you have to bear it yourself. There's no one to hold u when u fall, no one to talk to when u are bored, no one to laugh together.

Aft going thru MP proposal ydae, i'm so motivated to do my project suddenly. Its like aft the proposal has been submitted, everything went to a halt. Hahaz, getting back proposal means u have the green light to start. But, haben collected all the surveys yet. =/ Haiz.. however, my mind keeps reminding me that chionging so hard for MP also no use, so wat u got an A or Z, as if any uni will look at ur MP only when the rest of ur results sux. Agree?? For those who have good results, jia you for ur MP bah! Think it'll really help u all in all overall grades. For me, i think its useless.

Perhaps i have a wrong mindset, but its the fact. My sup is good, in the sense that she really helped me alot in sch stuff. If her attitude towards me can be better, i would have loved her. Unfortunately, that's not the case. Lol.. Anywae, i dun understand why some supervisors agree to be supervisors when they are not keen at all, in the end its the students that suffer.

Many of my frenz have been mugging hard for their exams, esp those taking O and A levels, and those in Uni. Jia you guys~~ It'll be over very soon, then we shall meet up ya? =) ahhh... i miss swimming!

*Chicken Little and Harry Potter*!!

Many happenings today, but shall not blog down everything cos i'm lazy.. hahaz.. Last night i woke up with gastric pain. I duno how it happen, i thought i was dreaming when the pain comes, den when i woke up in the middle of the night, the pain is really there. I was so scared at that time, cos i never had gastric which is painful enuf to wake me up. Fortunately, the pain only lasted around 10 mins. This morning when i woke up i still feel the pain, but it go on and off. However, the pain lasted nearly for the whole day at work, so pain lor... haiz... =/ i'm worried that i got peptic ulcer. U know, i'm paranoid. hahaz.. but maybe go to staff clinic tml during work if the pain persists.

Attended PT lec in the morning, wonder those PTs really got listen and pay attention not. It was not really boring, however, the pharmacist talk like train sia.. Catch no ball. Work was fine, or maybe happy. Everyone treat me so differently, when they know this week is my last week here. U know, that's life i guess. At least they start to "play" with me abit, and SURPRISINGLY, wendy ong never treat me that good before in my life sia. See ghost le~

I'm very impressed my a pre-reg there. Went to observe MDI counselling with her today. Although only a pre-reg, she's damn pro!! Really got so impressed that she's my idol~! hahaz.. can see that aft the whole counselling, that patient is very satisfied, keep smiling and acknowleging her. Really very good.. =) All pharmacists here are so good.. argh... tink i should really think twice. I will never have such confidence.

Beginning to miss working here. Sighz, aft so much rain and shine, ups and downs, its really different when u get settled down. Haiz.. At least they asked me whether i want to come back to work here aft i grad, it makes me happy. =)

Today is my uncle's chu bing day... Heard from my mum the atmosphere is very sad... alot ppl crying and calling out his name when he was abt to be pushed into the incinerator.. its scary to tink of tt image, i dun wana face tt situation at all, how can i survive that if i were there? haiz.. but ppl have to die one day.. =/

Work is okay today.. But felt very wei nan i went to top up at ward 73 (meiling's ward). The staff nurse there was like "begging" me, so desperately tell me to supply them the ward stock. Cos our pharmacy dun supply ward stock, they muz order from the store themselves. However, the staff nurse said it was so urgent, they have run out of Glipizide (anti-diabetic drug). She has tried to persuade ML to supply, but she said ML was so inflexible til she cnnt stand, duno wat to say abt her. ML insisted not to supply, and the patients gone without Glipizide for many days!! Gosh, can't believe it. She told me she duno how to face the patients at all... =/ And their blood glucose level is very high!!!! =x But wat can i do, i'm a lowly student attachment here, i got no power anything. I told one of the Pharmacy Technician that we secretly supply behind ML's back, but she said since ML know abt it, we cnnt take the risk, or else later ML will go crazy. Haiz... how can she be so irresponsible!!!! Inflexible!!!! Rather let the patient die that supply?!!! Our pharmacy has sooooo much glipizide!!! Spare a hundred its ok wat.... Wat's the matter with her. I feel so guilty, cos the S/N really ask me to talk to ML, at least supply them til the stock came, but i didnt, and the PT ask me not to oso... haiz..... how......

Anywae.. finally collected all my surveys. Phew~ Work was okay i guess, but feel so guily running away from the pharmacy for almost an hour to collect my surveys all over sgh.. -_- good way to cut fat anywae. Today went to observe Warfarin couselling with my sup, it was kind of a gd exp cos the couselling takes abt 15mins! so many things to talk abt! The patient was chirpy today, although was hooked up to the respiratory. Suffered from Deep Vein Thrombosis which lead to pulmonary embolism, therefore need warfarin. Sometimes really pei fu my sup, she's really confident in couselling and dispensing. But the room was so humid and hot sia, duno how he tahan. I think perhaps i'm not cut out to be pharmacist at all, why tink so much abt furthering education.. =/

Sometimes it makes me rethink my goals in life. Why bother to study so much when you know you have a way out to make a living. Just to obtain a degree to tell ppl "hey, i am a degree holder", juz for the face? Or isit a personal achievement? I duno... Having a degree doesn't mean a great future as well, it sometimes depend on luck. Their starting pay is around $1800, and if we are lucky, we oso get tt figure. But to me, i think its juz a personal achievement.

Just came back from my uncle's funeral. Everything was okay i guess. Everyone seemed calm. Except when i juz came and went to offer joss sticks, his sister and mother (other side of his family) were crying, but still managed to smile at us after we prayed. That was the only time when i felt really sad and feel like crying with them.. =/ My aunt and cousin seemed ok. My cousin slpt well last nite, and played with his cousins today. I was wondering whether he was affected... or maybe its juz putting on a brave front...

Was talking to my older cousin juz now, whom was thinking of going UK to study, and wanted to find someone to acc him so much. Hahaz.. Was kinda motivated by him, cos he told me UK only need to study 2 years, while others 3 years. Was wondering if this apply to Pharmacy as well. If its really is, i dun mind going there to study for 2 years. Seriously, i'm considering alot and really told my mum i'm that i'm serious. At least she started to respond abit, aft i told her i'll work for at least 2 years. My cousin said this is "building castle in the air", yeah i agree, but at least we have something to build, better than no direction at all. Anywae he told me that if i want to build one in UK, he'll probably go with me.. hahaz... Btw, my small aunt and this cousin suddenly said they support me to be air stewardess, ask me to go fot it. -_-! diaonz lor.. haha. they tot so easy to get in ah. If can get in den say lor.. lolz....

Tml's last week at SP73. Will miss the PTs alot.. Sad cos tml nana will be on leave, til wed den come back. No one to talk nonsense to entertain me, no one to gossip with me, and i'll probably shut my mouth throughout these 2 days. Sad... argh.... But one thing that makes me happy is that, if i din heard wrongly, wendy ong will be in other dept these few days.. wahaha! no need to see her face, i'll be elated. *grinz*

It was actually a fun day today. Went to gym in da morning, glad that i still can run til 3km, at least. =/ however, was disappointed when i went CDC, wanted to take my provisional driving licence, but the person dun accept my photocopied IC, made me waited 20mins in vain.

Anywae went to queensway with deardear. Bought our jersey together.. haha.. England de. Cost abt $135 in total.. =/ i'm damn broke now. Monday is the 7th oredi, is our pay in yet? haha.. =p Aft tt went to dear's house to play PS2, it was fun and hilarious!! So long didn laugh so heartily.. =D had fun.. =) Thanks dear.. hees...

However, there's been too many unhappy things happen these 2 days. Just chatted with Bernice, she's really affected. She's very attached to family things, more than me i admit. It was saddening cos its these things, she can't concentrate to study for her As. Haiz.. Please be strong girl. I hope my 4th aunt and my cousin can be strong too, i know it will be very hard for them to move on, given their current status. It will even be a harder road in the future. If this is really the destined path for them to take, i hope it wun last too long. Please be strong...

Just an unfortunate thing happened ydae, my other cousin got into accident a few hours ago juz when my family and relatives were grieving. My small aunt got so upset altogether and almost cried. This hyperactive cousin is owaz into accidents. Hopefully its only a cut, although its a deep cut across his forehead. It was bleeding profusely anywae. Got the stitches done by now i guess.. Hope he'll be okay...

Sigh. Please dun let anymore bad things happen again. My family side cannot take it anymore. Esp my grandparents, they r oredi very old... Sigh..

Fun! Exhausted! Slightly burnt! Bruised! =D Finally got to really get to really have a good exposure to the sun~! Firstly, the weather was almost perfect! No rain, but only that its rather humid! Water in the sea is soooooo cooling after a game of beach volley ball~~! =D Got the bruises on my arms as usual, duno y it owaz happened. Hahaz... It can be considered the first time i went down into the waters, and i felt great! =D However, was quite disappointed cos i didn get the tan i wanted... =x Aft that went roller blading, sigh, lost the hang of it!

Anywae was quite pissed off with those YELLOW guys, keeping ooing at the girls!! So angry.. 1 group of them secretly took our pics! Joanne was so angry that she chased and confronted them! Hahaz.. yeah! and got them to delete all the pics! Heard that there was alot of other girls pics in there! Pengz... aren't they er xin!

Musical fountain was soooooo crowded! The show only starts at 740pm, but we reach there at around 6pm and its was already filled with ppl~! Singaporean really ks sia~ hahaz... It was rather cute and nice, i mean the fountain. Except that they used too much of laser light instead of the waters itself. Anywae, it was quite enchanting.. =)

Hope we can go back soon! I wan my tan!!!!! hahaz... Shall date the amksians one day too! Its been long time since we went sentosa! Used to go there quite often after "O"! Hmmz.. wat's the next stop? Escape? Wild wild wet? Any good suggestions?

Happy to see deardear at the end of the day! So kind of him to walk to Hg MRT station to fetch me.. hehes.. love u dear! *muackz*