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♥ f i r e f l i e s d r e a m z ♥
Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Finally a short day! 10am-4pm! Haha.. in sec sch i would classify this as a torturous day. But i tink all pre-U and tertiary students will agree with me now.. =) Had 6 hrs PA lab today, but 1st 3 hours are used for boring lectures.. =/ Haha.. lab is light and rather fun, except that there are so many errors and GLP makes it all so tough. Hehes.. Yay, DDCT lec cancelled for tml, that means my lesson will start at 11am!! =) Will be having around 3hrs break tml and will be going to gym with emily and janice! Haha.. tink will drag wee along.. =p first time i'm so looking forward to it, although i owaz find gym boring cos i have no idea on how to use the machines. Lol.. nvm. At least i forced myself to wake up this morning to go jogging, and now feeling refreshed and energized! I wan to cut fat!!

Looking forward to thurs as well, only 8am-1pm. haha.. may be playing badminton~! Aft that mayb go for Amore Hi Lo, really missed it! =D Happy.. 2nd week is slacker than 1st week i think, at least i've finished abt 3/4 of the assignments given. More to come though...

Aww.. this can be considered as our last semester in TP le. I feel that i would really miss all these people. Be it from Pharmaceutical Science track or from my caregroup AB34. Sigh.. i tink i will miss school life as a whole. Come to think that around 2 years ago when i come to TP orientation as a freshie, i really hate it and i cried. Called jy to complain and cry. haha... i felt like quitting TP at that time, but i thought abt the 1 year which i would be wasting if i wan to go to JC. hahaz.. Now i'm going to grad soon, and i dun wan to quit.. =p Although sch life is tough when we are going through it, but it always leaves wonderful memories after graduation. Argh.. i dun wan to graduate suddenly!! I'm looking foward to attachments, but not graduation.. =(
Sunday, May 29, 2005

Watch Armageddon just now, tink its the 3rd time i've watched! But i still can't stop myself from crying!!! =( Its such a great show, every single sec of the show is so exciting. There's no anti-climax in this show, even from the beginning! 3hr show.. but i dun felt its very long. Sad movie, inspiring too~

Watched too many TV and VCD these few weeks, that's y i've gained 0.5kg!!! =(=( In just 2 weeks!! Kaoz... 0.5kg refers to mayb a bottle of cooking oil.. =( Okok, i promise to start my jian fei plan frml tml onwards. Mayb tues go amore, wed badminton/gym (decision lies with emily or janice), thurs mayb go amore again! Yes! i muz get rid of those fatty lard in me!

Long day tml. Jia you everyone!
Saturday, May 28, 2005

Stayed from 5pm-7.30pm for piano today, just to practice more before my exams. Suddenly, i find myself so intoxicated into the melody of the piano keys, that blends so well with the beauty of silence around me. Yes, i was alone in another part of the school, with no other people. I was in one of the rooms among the 6. I find it so at ease to play anything i want, its the first time i'm so into this kinda mood, where i actually fall in love with my own music. I stayed til very late, even after jocelyn and my teacher went off. I'm beginning to love myself more, for soothing my own soul and mind from fast-paced songs to slow sentimental ones. Simple songs like Canon in D makes me feel top of the world~~

Sometimes i wonder, why is my happiness always so short-lived. When i can finally got out of the nasty twist of life, when i can finally breathe and lift myself up, there always bound to be something which slapped me back again. Why can't happiness be always with me? I know it have been my fault, for not managing my stuff well. There are so many commitments in every one's lives, and i always find it so hard to balance them well. It took me lots of energy to solve one of them, and that's when i find happiness. However, the other side would tend to weigh me down. It is an endless game to play, and sometimes i felt rather tired. Perhaps, i'm really have no talent in handling human relationship, perhaps i'm just a self-centered person, whom only have enough ability to satisfy my own needs.

I suddenly thought abt many ppl whom i've really neglected. Its always like that. When i turn my attention to something else, i tend to neglect the others. I really duno how to balance them out. Sometimes, i'm feeling like a failure. To fiona, sorry if i made u think that way. I guess i'm always very passive, many people told me that. That's why i've lost 2 important people in my life. Therefore, only very little people actually stick by me. Of cos, i hope i wouldn't have to lose more, but sometimes i really duno wat to do. I fear rejections, therefore seldom take the first move. I really hope to return to when we are young and carefree, when burden is much lesser, and where we can always be there for one another.

Sorry its a long entry. Its okie no one reads it. I just wana write down some feelings. Anywae, i hope next week will be a better week. I have to buck up on all aspects of life.

Had 11hrs of slp last nite, but i dun tink its enuf to replenish all the sleep time i've lost during this 1 week... =/ am feeling soooo sleepy, even after i just woke up!

TP blackboard really sux. I tried to log in since the past 1 hr, and i couldn't get through! Wasting my time sia. Wanted to read up on CSAS material before i go for my piano lesson at 4.30pm. Pissed off!! Haiz.. later having piano, but its not my slot actually. Just clash with jocelyn's slot for aural. Lame ah.. too bad, i'm the least prepared for my internal exams. Mayb after that aural prac i'll stay back to practice on my own.. The only thing i like abt Christofori is the freedom of staying back whenever i want to practice in a private room, providing that room is vacant!

I want to gain back my energy in doing everything. I love the holidays which has just ended. Cos i was so enthusiastic on several things. Right now, i've lost all the energy i possessed. I just wan to sleep all day long.. Mayb suffering for chronic fatigue~!

I am feeling like a dead corpse.
Friday, May 27, 2005

Dear said this princess pic is not nice! =( But still change it anywae..

Wee says my blog is dead, but i'm too tired to blog....

Sch's been rather hectic despite its the first week. I wonder whether i can survive in the following weeks, months, and sem.

No drive for studies anymore. No drive for piano anymore. No drive for carelicious project as well. I duno what i wan to do. Argh..

<>
Monday, May 23, 2005

school's starting tml, and i'm not least prepared for it at all~!!! argh! =(=( why must there be school?! i dun wan to study, i dun wan to attend any lec, tut or lab, i dun wan tut wk sheets, projects, tests and exams! i hate them!!! =(=( i guess this is only the holiday which i dun wan it to end, mayb becos of carelicious project that i was doing for the whole holiday, and time passes quite quickly~~! =(

hmmx.. went to Marina square with my parents this aftnoon! It has been renovated and its very nice!! only half has been renovated, the other half is still under construction. hahaz.. went to eat Long John Silver den went to Giant to shop!! Hehes.. that's an hourly lucky draw there, and we waited for 10mins before the clock strike 6pm.. lolz.. of cos we didn win lahz, but v few coupons are in there, i tot the chance is rather high. =p lolz.. aft that went over to esplanade bay to watch the sea, have a drink, den went to anut's house to collect my favourite yam cake! hahaz... so gan dong, cos i said i long time didn eat her yam cake de, den she make! =D hahaz.. oh ya, she said i become thinner lah! WAHAHAHAHA! =p

that's my day! been a happy day! hehes... my dad gonna get his bonus soon! So good!! 90% of his salary, i tot i heard wrongly. pengz! but its the first time though.. =D
Friday, May 20, 2005

Today mark the end of CARElicious sale at Punggol Sec!! Hmmz.. not as bad as i thought. Haha.. I felt that today is much more better than ydae becos the students are able to help out during recesses as well! Ydae they only came after school, and it was rather depressing. The atmosphere is not there. However, things turn better today~ Hehes.. Yup! So grateful to the students, esp when they helped us to carry the things in the morning when we were late!! =x hahaz... It was another success i supposed.. =)

Finally felt the type of fatique i'm yearning to have. I must be crazy! Haha.. i love the feeling of being so tired after a long successful day! Happy.. Hopefully things can go well at TP site. Hmmz.. I wonder why on earth our school is the most troublesome when they are supposed to give us their fullest support. Zzz. Crap~ Stupid TP!! TP SUX!

Enuf abt that. Hehes, received new timetable. I'm actually very happy that my deardear and my close friends can all be together in the same class with me! =)=) I'm so afraid of being alone! argh.. wonder when can i learn to be independent. Hmmz... Of cos there are some who's in other class whom i'll miss!! I wonder how will be my lab partner be since Gladys will be next door. Sigh~ Although we two were very blur, and we were owaz one of the last to finish the exp, but at least its relaxing, and we owaz spot post lab question together! Hmm.... Sometimes its rather bad to have our classes change every semester. I wish all of us can study together, stick together, and not change so frequently!

Tml is our 18th month anniversary!! hehes.. *muack muack* deardear!! =D
Monday, May 16, 2005

Dun keep telling me "you are equally impt", words means nth u know?! How u wan me to believe you if you juz keep saying??! Prove it! Let me FEEL it! How often do i asked for ur help?! i guess this is only the 2nd time. Am i that insignificant to you that you can hesitate to help? Its not only the steamer, its the apples, the weight of 100 apples, the cookies, the test tubes + the rock candies!! Y u can't feel it?!! There's only 3 of us, GIRLS! I dun feel like asking you for ur help anymore u know. U dun give me that "you're very impt to me" kind of feelin.. I really feel like flying away. U are NOT the ideal one.

Anywae, i'm very happy for Punggol's Sec reply. At least they are willing to help, unlike other schools. Wonder why schools like punggol and bedok south are so willing to help, and some other schs are so f**ked up. I guess its the mentality of the management, juz like the mentality of people as well.

Zzz.. I'll be managing on my own. At least singapore is a developed countries. There are cabs around.

I really duno which path should i take aft i grad. There are so many areas for me to choose, but i duno which are the ones which really suits me. Perhaps i should try all of them before i get my answer~ Hmmz.. I wonder whether one's character can change in 1 year, mayb from an anti-social, low self-esteem person to an outspoken one. If can, i wan to change! Argh.. I mean, i HAVE to change if i wana go for the interview i guess, but i dun tink i can change my basic instinct.. hehes. Well, i'll see whether i can. Physically, it should be achievable, but it needs lots of discipline!! I'm lacking of that though.. =p

Today Jiahui came again. Haha, i tink she comes at least 3 times a week. Aww.. always make me feel so jealous and envious of her for 3 times a week! If only i can have her body!! Tall and slim! That's what i hope to have, i dun really know how to analyse which type of body that will be deemed as perfect, but i juz wana be tall and slim~! I dun wan big boops or butt, i dun wan an hour-glass figure, i just wana get excess fat off my body!!! =( Hmmz, but if i were to follow her way of maintaining her physique, i think i'll first die of gastric cancer. 1 bun for breakfast, which last her til dinner, and hardly finish her dinner after that. =/

Going over to Ayer Rajar "Adventure Camp" later. hahaz. hopefully i dun have to experience that type of adventure again. A one-time experience is enough~ hehes.. Oh.. and i finally borrowed the whole series of Hai Tun Wan Lian Ren (Dolphin Bay)!! Thanks a lot to Peishan..! Haha... yay! she'll be passing it to dear later, i hope to get it by tonite!! =D so happy... lalalala...
Saturday, May 14, 2005

Bad stomach today~! I can skip my breakfast and went to meet deardear, and when we are going for lunch, i thought i shld be hungry! Cannot finish that pasta.... =/ and felt bloated and have no appetite. Hmmz.... Dun feel hungry during dinner time too, and juz now i barely finished the half guava my mum gave me.. -_-! Even if i wana cut fat, i wun go on diet!!! but why like that....? weird body.

Went TM to watch House of Wax with deardear today!! Hehes.. happy can see deardear, but hate that show.. =x Well, alot ppl would think opposite, but i HATE that show!!!! Sigh... so bloody. Well, not very bloody, but i still hate it.. haiz. I'm very disturbed by all the way the people died, and particularly, the way the girl's finger is cut off.. *puke*

I wana watch the lion and zebra show!!! the duno wat Madagasca or duno wat, duno how to spell! That's would be a great show!! =D Dun ever gonna watch violence show! >=(
Friday, May 13, 2005

Punggol Sec's warm reply really made me day! At least we still have a glimpse of hope before school opens. I'm still waiting for Serangoon Sec's reply though, i dun mind if we have to run 2 schools the next week. I rather be busy than to get stucked here..!

To all carelicious members, please dun feel too hopeless that you ppl are feeling cold over this, come to think, we barely walked through 1/3 of the journey, we still have 2 more mths. =) We must work our way up high k? =) Although our profit is very little due to high cost, but as long as we can get 20k ppl to support us, we still can get 20k profit.. Jia you!!

Today's piano lesson is rather a killer. Haiz, stupid scales, wonder who invented them. Haiz.. such a waste of time, energy and money. I muz master the 3rd piece by next week!!! Buck up!

dun really hate veggie, but dun really love them too.. haha.. love some though, esp mushrooms! hahaz.. this skin more suitable for wendy!! haha.. but tink its so cute that i like! =)
Thursday, May 12, 2005

Think its soon i'm getting tired over this project. Seems that some Singaporeans are really so hard-hearted when doing charity, it was as if you are threatening them with extortion. For goodness sake, all those stuff we already dun earn much, and we did not wan to increase the price further because we are afraid that you ppl thought it'll be too expensive.. Zzz! I felt that they think they are too blessed with perfect health that they spare no second thoughts for others. But i know some day in the near future, they may need others help then. They shld do sth to "ji de" now, unless no one gonna help them by then! Anywae, thx xp and ur close colleague, we need true-hearted souls to donate willingly...! =)

Sth perked me up today was the call made to Serangoon Sec. At least some decent reply from them~! -_-! Wonder why some school's receptionist are soooo rude, that they can be sacked right away for slamming a customer's phone.. Zzz~ Well, serangoon sec teacher-in-charge is rather enthusiastic abt it, but she cnnt make the decision and have to discuss it with the VP, and she'll get back to me tml. Sighz.. sometimes too much disappointment really make me lose all the hopes i'm having.

Met xueping, weixiang, and terence for dinner at Compasspoint just now. Hahaz.. Okayz lahz, dun really feel awkward although we haben be seeing each other for 2years? Of cos not refering to wx, sometimes unlucky will see him on bus or in sch.. =/ hahaz, and not xp of cos. Hmmz.. alrite lahz, chatted til i was lost in time, it was 8.50pm when i realised!! Argh.. i want to catch Jing Zhong Ren at 9pm!! Hahaz.. lucky i reach home at 9.20pm, still not that late huh... hehes... The conversation the guys are toking are sometimes so lame.....~~! Hahaz...

Tml is piano time. Haiz.. felt so guily..! Exam in a month's time.. how? =(

Thanks dear.. =)
Monday, May 09, 2005

Slacking at home today. Getting tired of being "wu shuo shi shi". Yes, i'm too stubborn to go out.

Thanks to Jy who volunteered himself to help us in our project by getting orders. He's one of those whom i didn approach for help, but came forward himself.. =D Thanks alot. Please, we need everyone's help.. Please help us and the Children's Cancer Foundation. Order List is available at the website, http://www.geocities.com/teamcarelicious, therefore it is very accessible!

Nth more to blog about, nth more is within my concern. Looking forward to tml's kickboxing with xp.. =)
Saturday, May 07, 2005

This skins depicts how i'm feeling right now. I really lost hope in you.. I've been tolerating for months, i tink its time.

Dun tell me all those stupid sense into me right now, it all conveys CRAP to me. Tell me i'm weak and useless in handling this "period", i dun care.

U dun need me anymore, so y shld i cling on? I want to untie myself, i want to live the life i desire.

Let me breathe. Please. That's my last request.
Friday, May 06, 2005

Hehes! A pat on the back for myself this morning! Forced myself to wake up at 9am to go for 1030am Low Impact Aerobics at Amore.. Was reluctant to wake up, and when the alarm went off, i'm actually coaxing myself to sleep!! Pengz.. lol... of cos not! My last Amore package expires 2 days ago, but i still have 1 more lesson to go!! Sobz!!~ That means my last lesson is forfeited.... haiz.. waste money! So today i started my new package. Hmmz.. Very fun! but still prefer Hi Lo.. Hehes.. LO is tiring as well!!! Wow.. really sweat it out. Feeling exercise-ed =p!

Went to piano after that. Haiz.. stupid rain made me late for 25mins!! Argh.. It was too big for me to step out of the house, and i hate it even more when there's lightning.. Zzz! Well nvm. Met dear after that and we went to TM. Saw Terence Leong there!!! Lolz.. Not our Psychology/CYYFC mentor lahz, its my fren terence leong! Hmmz... Look more mature le, but i doubt his character.. =x lolz...

Went to watch TP Dance Ensemble at school's auditorium at 7pm.. Haha! Very nice~~!! Yupz.. i enjoyed watch arts performance like Dance, Musicale etc... Although i dun really understand everything abt dances, but at least i still know its story/theory behind it huh. Not that bad one k.. =p hehes.. Enjoyed the performance, except feeling abit stiff neck cos i was sitting right at the far end.. Hehes. Peishan and Sally were involved, i went with deardear to support! =)
Thursday, May 05, 2005

It has been a lazy week for me! Slacking and slacking! Hahaz... I was so busy the week before, and i hope for a break. Right now, i'm hoping to be busy~ Fan Jian! Well... Actually wanted to go for Hi Lo at Amore today, but xp cnnt make it. Furthermore, the rain stopped me from going... Zzzz! I guess i'm too lazy myself... hehes.. =p *get well soon xp*! =)

I'm going to advertise again! Hahaz. Please visit http://www.geocities.com/teamcarelicious frequently to catch our updates. An online menu is done and put up in the website, and anyone who knows anyone one of us please get an order list from us ok? We really need help from each and everyone of you!! With the order list, simply ask around your frenz or colleagues to patronize from us. A mass order will be appreciated greatly!! =) Please please please!!

Hees... Nth to do whole day except eating and playing game. Felt too lazy to go anywhere.. haha.. Jia Hui came my house today, v paisay didn really acknowledge her cos i was playing game! Argh.. sorry. Haha.. was hitting fairy at that time. Hehes.. that's all le. Tink i go play my game til 7.30pm aft that i can watch my Dolphin Bay! Reminder *support Team CARELicious!!*
Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Went kbox today! with wendy, wee, wee's mum and janice~ Hehes... today i got to sing, unlike the lastest one i went with them, hehes, duno y.. =p Kinda hate it when the K student package is shortened to 2pm-5pm, while the price didn cut at all~! Pissed off with these stupid increase lor, even cinemas are like that...!!! Infuriating!! It must be the government who took advantage of Singaporeans, cos we have no riots now! And it isn't afraid of being opposed! Singaporeans are too bo chap abt these things, dun even have time to design banners to riot.. zzz! That's y we are taken advantage of... Sometimes really hate the government, i dun care whether if they see this, for goodness sake, ITS A DEMOCRATIC SOCIETY! They have no right to lock me up in jail~!!!!! *boo!!!!* I'm beginning to sound like Tian Da Hua, and oso my dad, anti-government... =p

Hehes, enuf abt politics, anywae enjoyed myself today... hehes.. Except some things in my head that really keeps me thinking... I believe there's owaz such a period would happen, many ppl told me the same thing. I can only pray that its true, and i wish that this perod would pass quickly. I want to be happy, i wan to FEEL happy...